My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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