Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

sounds like you fell off the wagon.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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(617): sounds like you fell off the wagon. (1-617): fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon. http://tfl.nu/7sjj

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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(724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts

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(785): View more from Kansas

last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

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(785): last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ifrq

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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(810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk

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(937): View more from Ohio

Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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(937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy

Replies (29) Good night (1118) Bad night (6398)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude

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(907): I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude http://tfl.nu/0pzh

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby

(617): View more from Massachusetts

your completely serious

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(774): I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby (617): your completely serious http://tfl.nu/nhex

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(681): View more from West Virginia

Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.

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(681): Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most. http://tfl.nu/7o83

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(817): View more from Texas

I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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(817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9

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(310): View more from California

Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?

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(310): Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK? http://tfl.nu/84zy

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(831): View more from California

She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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(831): She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock" http://tfl.nu/hp1z

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!

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(414): we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally! http://tfl.nu/l12k

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.

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(+44): Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs. http://tfl.nu/l0tw

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(315): View more from New York

And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..

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(315): And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness.. http://tfl.nu/wnyn

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow

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(787): You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow http://tfl.nu/nndh

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