Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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