The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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