I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize