It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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