just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize