**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
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Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
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And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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