Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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