Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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