guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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