i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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