also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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