I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize