thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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