So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
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bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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