are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I touched a dick in church today
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize