we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize