fuck your aforementioned shoe
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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