finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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