when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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