I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
