your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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