There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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