yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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