a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize