I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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