just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize