cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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