I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize