I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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