I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
