she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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