i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize