Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize