i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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