Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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