My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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