i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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