Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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