I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
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Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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