Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize