literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize