you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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