So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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