how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize