Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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