Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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