tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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