I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize