Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize