Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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