i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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