I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize