Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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